Picking up my courage!

today i really pick up courage and face the reality.
Cos i know there is something in mi tat is not right in attitude and in spiritual realm.
I'm weak, imperfect and i'm a sinner.
i m pick up my courage to tell the people that I trust.
I know God is there 4 mi. But I still feel lost and fail 2 seek HIM.
so i really need help from my persons who I trust most and be the reminder of my life.
these people should know how important they are in my life. Be it reminder of my spiritual walk or my daily life.
I cry so hard as it has been a struggle in my life. Make mi feel unworthy and breathless but this is a self pity. losing control make mi hate myself more. All these are wrong mindset..All these while, I'm doing my best 2 renew myself and change.As i m about to move on, it juz come push mi down.
I know there are a lot of ppl who wan to protect mi but i also wan to protect them.
I also wan to protect myself and i dun wan to abuse myself. losing mind.. abusing again...
I appreciate them and really love them. Deep in my heart they are so close to mi but in reality they are yet so far. i'm juz like a lone ranger roaming around this world.
Really as i pick up my courage, i believe in HIM tat i have to move on and break away from all these.
Dear Lord , pls help mi and restore mi, Amen!